19. The Maternal Instinct and the Importance of Parenting
Is mothering instinctive? Is it part of our nature, or is it a learned behavior? In the seventies and eighties, women performed 80% of childcare. Since 2000, women have reduced their childcare to 65%, with men now taking on 35% (Bureau of Labor Statistics). For newborns, early personality development is crucial for later intellectual growth. During the first six years of a child’s life, 80% of their personality is formed (McKenna, W&M).
How important are the first three years of life? Is it correct to assume a child will grow out of early behavior? How significant is preschool parenting? According to Avshalom Caspi, a psychology professor at King's College, a 23-year study of 1,000 three-year-olds revealed that children's behavioral styles at age three are linked to their personality traits at age 26. Traits were categorized into five groups: well-adjusted, confident, inhibited, reserved, and uncontrolled (impulsive). Remarkably, these traits remained evident 23 years later. The first three years of life are immensely important. If guardrails are established in the early years of school (Kindergarten to fourth grade), children can learn ethical behaviors, but only if teachers are allowed, in the absence of parents, to correct behaviors.
Have our K-12 educators taken note of early developmental studies? Not at all. The National Education Association (NEA) and programs like Head Start have implemented "Developmentally Appropriate Practice" (DAP), discouraging teachers from asserting expectations and acting to induce more mature behavior. DAP encourages tolerance and acceptance of immaturity, irresponsibility, and failure (J.E. Stone on 1969-DAP). In the absence of classroom parenting (teachers are restricted from parenting when it's needed most), behavior problems in the early years, instead of being addressed, are allowed to fester. Practicing DAP allows negative personality traits evident at age three to become embedded, presenting society with significant expenses for correcting or incarcerating deviant behavior at older ages.
By inhibiting teachers from addressing deviant behavior early on, many children will experience much more severe problems as teens or later in life. The failure of educators to allow classroom teachers to discipline children in the early years is the main reason our K-12 education system is failing.
On the maternal instinct, Sarah Blaffer Hrdy (professor at the University of California, Davis) showed that a mother's oxytocin (a brain chemical) increased by 63% upon holding her infant child. This increase in oxytocin, known as the "love drug," was true for both mothers who gave birth and those who adopted. She also demonstrated that fathers and even grandparents, although it took longer, also showed elevated levels of oxytocin. Elevated oxytocin is a physiological response that binds a family member to a newborn. Professor Hrdy highlighted that while the "maternal instinct" bonding is crucial for the newborn, there is no assurance it will be sufficient for positive personality development.
The introduction of DAP into public education prohibited teachers, for the first time, from parenting and addressing delinquent behaviors at an early age. When behavior wasn't ignored, teachers were relegated to refer to others in the school bureaucracy. Classroom teachers were no longer allowed to address behavior before it became a disorder.
Today, our ethical beliefs leave the decision of abortion largely with the mother. Approximately 700,000 women, who experienced maternal bonding as infants, make the decision to abort their baby fetuses each year, often leaving these women in a moral dilemma with severe feelings of guilt for years. A recent study at the National Institute of Health (NIH - Muacevic, Adler - May 11, 2023) of 226 women post-abortions found that 152 (67%) attributed negative emotions and mental health outcomes to their abortions. Another NIH study (Abortion and Mental Health - Steinberg & Adler) showed that almost twice as many women enter into abortion with mental problems compared to women who give birth. A study of 689 women conducted at the General Hospital of Psychology in Elsevier, Amsterdam, from September to October 2023, who experienced miscarriages, medical terminations, and abortion, found that they desired mental health care. Finally, a study by the American Psychological Association on June 23, 2022, of "1,000 women" concluded that abortion does not cause mental health problems but failed to address the NIH study that found that over 65% of women who have abortions have mental health problems. The studies present a mixed bag.
In closing, the physical release of oxytocin, "the love drug," gives energy to the adult caregiver of an infant, and its release is not limited to the birth mother; it is also present in adoptive mothers. Moreover, even fathers and grandparents, over a longer period, will experience a release of oxytocin. This group of loved ones is best able to provide attention, care, and early learning experiences. Women who abort their babies are twice as likely to have emotional problems before and after the abortion. Twenty-five million babies are being raised by single parents today who may not be able to provide the nurturing they need without a second parent to help.
It is normal for adults, in the absence of the parent (in loco parentis), to parent children. Historically, teachers have been expected to parent the children in their classrooms. Over the past 40 years, our educators have stopped classroom teachers from parenting their classes. These actions have been destructive to our children and greatly reduced the quality of their educations.
Have a Blessed Week!
Tony Christ